The Start Of The Dog Year..

the dog year seems bleak.. both for me and you..

Dad and Nana argued this morning..(Good year for both of them)

As it is not a very good year for me.. I am reminded to lie low like Dar and keep a low profile... not poke my nose into the business of others and not be ya ya papaya..

Another 300+ days to go before the year of the PIG is here.. HOW LIKE THAT??

I have super alot of work to do, super alot of things on my mind and not enough time, leave or money!!

ARRGHHH... I hate the DOG year..

I need to regain my metal strength..

Guardian Angel, please stay around to guide me through this year, no matter where you are or where I am...

I want!! Jermaine wants to buy too..

Prada bags.. I wanna buy..

My last day at work before CNY!! Photomad.. The 4 Js..

The products of our scrapbooking class..

Table mates at Bangkok Duty Free

My favourite Thai handicrafts, made of white clay.. this shop is at Chatuchak!!

Our Bangkok trip with Jermaine and Derek, Friday the 13th to Monday the 16th, January 2006...

Int'l buffet everyday at the hotel.. Awaiting our driver, Sat 14/01/06

On 3K511 there!! Sittin behind Jermaine and Derek... Friday, 13/01/2006..

I like this photo.. the colours look vintage faded..

Me.. :)

Me!!

J and J.. C and C.. hhahaha

People's houses on stilts along the river.. there were many, even a house with huskies!! Jem wants a holiday house like that too!!

Can you see the background?

A big Buddha statute viewed from our boat... The driver was so nice to stop for our phototaking..

At the floating market, a good one hour drive.. out of Bangkok.. on our motorized power boat.. the best part of our whole trip... Sat, 14/01/2006...

What am I doing?

Boats, goods, sun and river..

Me on our river taxi which was so pretty, clean and colourful.. I loved our boat captain...

Up the spiral stairs.. the colours look so vibrant...

Floating market...

Poser pink flamingoes who flap their wings when you whip out your camera - Orchid garden...

Me and Jem - taken by our driver.. 14/01/2006

Taken by our driver at the Orchid garden...

At the Thai Cultural Village.. this elephant does as it is told for tourists to pay and take photos... Sat, 14/01/2006

Views from our own river taxi.. 1200 THB.. going past Wat Arun and the Palace.. gorgeous and cool.. sunset and the open sea..

Rama bridge.. so pretty..

Thai palace... the royal family does not live there though.. very gold..

A photo of me at the big field outside the Thai palace.. told our driver to drop us for some quick shots...

Our arms and his watches.. guess which is mine and which is his? I'm wearing the red watch and his, the orange.. in the cab on the way to seafood!! Sat, 14/01/2006

Seafood dinner recommended by our driver.. located behind the Suan Lum night market.. It was absolutely fabulous!! Best chilli crab i hav tasted.. everything was fresh.. We had lobster with cheese, garlic butter prawns, chilli and black pepper crab and kang kong! whole meal only a cool 5000+THB..

Dar at Suan Lum night market.. this is the center structure where the round about was.. Satuday, 14/01/2006.. shopped lots!!

Taken from the cab from Chatuchak to our hotel, Woraburi Sukhomvit.. 15/01/2006

Returning from Chatuchak on Sunday, 15/01/2006 .. dar had a headache.. in the cab.. i looked my best that day!! Check out my sunglasses from MBK

Thai ge tai at Suan Lum Night Market on 15/01/2006.. dar had pork chop and paul laner beer.. Man, the pork chop was salty.. I ordered fanta grape and they brought me fanta apple!!

Last day at Bangkok 16/01/06 - Outside Mahboonkrong at 9 + am Bangkok time.. Headed to Macs to await the opening of the shops. With Jermaine.. The sun was hot!!

Back to reality.. i think i blog better when i am feeling disoriented, cranky, irritated.. just negative.. i think the words flow better.. when i am feeling positive, i just want to channel my energy to do better things... I'm sick of my job.. it's almost 3 years.. but i don't know to what i should do.. Sigh.. decisions decisions

Back to reality..

i think i blog better when i am feeling disoriented, cranky, irritated.. just negative.. i think the words flow better.. when i am feeling positive, i just want to channel my energy to do better things...

I'm sick of my job.. it's almost 3 years.. but i don't know to what i should do..

Sigh.. decisions decisions

Endorphine..
Their CD. I'm a sucker for sad songs and for singers with voices like hers and the lead singer of the Japanese group, Globe....This song commemerates my Thailand trip!!

My favourite Thai Song..

This song is called "nam dtem kaew" from the album สักวา ๔๙ by Endorphine.

วันๆที่เป็นอยู่ เฝ้าทำเพื่อเธอทุกอย่าง
wan-wan tee bpen yoo fao tam peua ter took yaang
Every day I did everything for you.

แต่ใจเธอไม่เคยลืมรักครั้งเก่า
dtae jai ter mai koie leum rak krang gao
But your heart never forget your past love.

เธอเป็นแก้วใบหนึ่ง ที่เต็มไปด้วยน้ำเปล่า
ter bpen gaew bai neung tee dtem bpai duay naam bplao
You are like a glass that is full of water,

ยิ่งเทเติมลงไปมีแต่ล้นออก
ying tay dterm long bpai mee dtae lon ok
which overflows when it is filled with water

คนเก่า รักเก่า เธอไม่เคยลบเลือน
kon gao rak gao ter mai koie lop leuan
Your past love is still in your heart.

คนใหม่ รักใหม่ เลยท้อ
kon mai rak mai loie tor
The one who (now) loves you is feeling disheartened.

จริงๆเข้าใจอยู่ กับความทรงจำครั้งเก่า
jing-jing kao jai yoo gap kwaam song jam krang gao
I understand that you hold on to the past memories.

แต่อย่าเอามันมาปิดกั้นหัวใจ
dtae yaa ao man maa bpit gan hua jai
But do not use it to seal the door to your heart.

เปลี่ยนเป็นแก้วเปล่า แก้วใหม่ เปิดใจทีนะเธอ
bplian bpen gaew bplao gaew mai bpert jai tee na ter
Change your heart into an empty glass, a new glass. Open your heart,

รับหน่อย รู้หน่อย ความรัก จากฉัน
rap noi roo noi kwaam rak jaak chan
accept and know my love for you.

ฉันยังต้องรออีกนานไหม ต้องรอเธออีกนานไหม
chan yang dtong ror eek naan mai dtong ror ter eek naan mai
How much longer must I wait? Must I wait for a long time?

ถึงจะได้เจอกับรักที่เธอเคยบอกฉัน
teung ja daai jer gap rak tee ter koie bok chan
Only then will I have your love.

เมื่อไหร่รักเก่าระเหย ฉันรอให้เธอได้ลืมเขาสักวัน
meua-rai rak gao ra-hoie chan ror hai ter daai leum kao sak wan
When will you forget your past love? I am waiting for you to forget her.

เพื่อการเริ่มใหม่ ครั้งใหม่ เพื่อเธอกับฉันและรักเรา
peua gaan rerm-mai krang mai peua ter gap chan lae rak rao
For a new beginning, a new era, for you and me, and our love.

(Interlude)

ทุ่มเทเท่าไหร่มันก็ล้นเท่านั้น
toom tay tao-rai man gor lon tao nan
However much I lavish my love on you, it flows away out of your heart.

ไม่อาจสัมผัสเข้าถึงสักครั้ง
mai aat sam-pat kao teung sak krang
My love is unable to enter your heart.

ฉันยังต้องรออีกนานไหม ต้องรอเธออีกนานไหม
chan yang dtong ror eek naan mai dtong ror ter eek naan mai
How much longer must I wait? Must I wait for a long time?

ถึงจะได้เจอกับรักที่เธอเคยบอกฉัน
teung ja daai jer gap rak tee ter koie bok chan
Only then will I have your love.

เมื่อไหร่รักเก่าระเหย ฉันรอให้เธอได้ลืมเขาสักวัน
meua-rai rak gao ra-hoie chan ror hai ter daai leum kao sak wan
When will you forget your past love? I am waiting for you to forget her.

เพื่อการเริ่มใหม่ ครั้งใหม่ บอกหน่อย
peua gaan rerm-mai krang mai bok noi
For a new beginning, a new era, please tell me.

ฉันควรรอต่อไปไหม ต้องรอเธออีกนานไหม
chan kuan ror dtor bpai mai dtong ror ter eek naan mai
Should I continue to wait for you? Must I wait for a long time?

ถึงจะได้เจอกับรักที่เธอเคยบอกฉัน
teung ja daai jer gap rak tee ter koie bok chan
Only then will I have your love.

เมื่อไหร่รักเก่าระเหย ฉันรอให้เธอได้ลืมเขาสักวัน
meua-rai rak gao ra-hoie chan ror hai ter daai leum kao sak wan
When will you forget your past love? I am waiting for you to forget her.

เพื่อการเริ่มใหม่ ครั้งใหม่ เพื่อเธอกับฉันและรักเรา
peua gaan rerm-mai krang mai peua ter gap chan lae rak rao
For a new beginning, a new era, for you and me, and our love.

Extracted from: http://www.ethaimusic.com/lyrics3/509.htm (you can listen to it there too!!)

Heavy Rain, Monday Blues, Holidays..

It rained the whole of yesterday. I felt like crap...I was packing and surfing and trying to photoshop some photos..

I don't think I look like crap.. My dar and friends think I am getting prettier in fact.. Ruru said my make-up looks natural although dar said that putting yellow glittery eyeshadow to lighten the dark rings (*if i have any) makes me look sickly..

So mean rite?

I am hooked on this show..


When rules turn loose...I dunno what is the show below..












I like the fact that Dar supports me in extending my learning curve..
Push me back to my law and take my masters...

Thanks dar for changing and encouraging me...

Without you, the rain will not stop pouring..
Without you, the sun will stop shining..
With you, even dark clouds have silver linings...
Nothing without you makes me happy...

Postman msned me last nite.. and asked me how are things with dar..
Yes, we've been together already and I have moved on..
I don't want to look back...
I don't want all that crap back..
I've lost my ties to Louie..
I only yearn to look forward
and get my dog with Dar...
Most definitely not a dachshund..
But a dog I *we will most definitely love..

It's Monday again..
I'm not working..
I'm struggling to work...
I just wade in and out of the web pages..
When my bosses come over to spy on me..
I act busy at work..
When I am actually day dreaming in my world...

Attended a wedding last night and think..
I must start to be selective about the weddings I attend..
I hate weddings...
But I will love and plan my own..
Why am I such a selfish pig?
Not that I have attended many..
Rejected some..
Haha that's funny..
With each wedding experience I learn,
what must not go wrong..
Proper speeches..
Proper planning..
Goes a long way..

What happened to tradition?
I thought we Yam Seng at every table?
Don't be so shocked..
My dar wants to do the 'Axe gang dance' as seen in 'Kung-Fu Hustle' starring Stephen Chow at the wedding..

He's strange isn't he..

Yea I know..

I'm heading to Minds Cafe with my sis, cousins and cousin-in-law later..

Hope it'll be a blast..

I feel hungry and greedy..

Going for paper steamboat soon if the hands on the clock will run faster..

I yearn for a tai tai life..

To play mahjong and go shopping..

Will that ever come true?

I wish, i hope, i pray on a star tonite..

Tomorrow's the first time dar will be eating dinner with the Yaps.. @ Sub Moon!!

Yea.. yummy.. Kyoho grape juice, kyo-dango, Foie Gras, Crab and sashimi, tempura, lobster..

My fave...

Ok, must go to work..

Half the day is gone..

I have only charged half hour and that is to WO..

Owww... crap...

Gotham Penthouse.. Tax Party Friday, 07/01/2006...

Ruru the English-speaking emcee and me..

Yunni and Anson - Matthias and Eunice's wedding.. 8/1/2006...

The 3 of us @ table 20... with Ruru, Shuqi, Lisa, Roland, Steven - the photographer and his "brothers.."

Anson and me.. Teochew seafood restaurant @ Centrepoint..

Yunni and me.. @ Eunice's wedding..

Reply

When you think of someone in the morning, it's MISS,
When you think of someone in the afternoon, it's LIKE,
When you think of someone at night, it's LUST..
When you think of someone day and night, it's LOVE..

Remember?

We went through all odds, following our fate to come together..
It may seem late but it is worthwhile..

I have to say that although most think that I am good with words and can lash out like nobody's business..

I've been having writer's block all this while..

I want to blog..

I want to express how I feel..

My thoughts fly and I want to catch them..

Capture them and freeze them in my memory..

Spring blooms, autumn moon
Summer breeze and winter snow...

You should only understand men and not love them..
You should only love women and not understand them..

Isn't it true?

2006, we promise not to drink, party and smoke..
2006, we promise not to mention "postman" anymore..
2006, we promise not to swear and curse no more..
2006, we promise to love each other and be nice ...

We are strong people... too strong at times..
We want to dominate.. yet we want to live together..

I've mellowed.. I've been nice..
I want to cherish.. I want to be loved....
I'm tired of arguing...
I'm tired of you being chauvanistic and egoistic..

But if you aren't bad, I won't love you too..
Can I ever make up my fickle mind?

I don't want you to hide.. I want you to come into the light..

2006 is significant...

A new beginning and a fresh start it has been..

That night at Makino, with the fireworks and all our friends.

Our new adventure has began...

We'll take a leap forward...

Dinner with my dad on Tuesday remember?

I'm just afraid...

So afraid..

Will we ever tire of each other?

Will our feelings ever fade?

Should there be a back door?

Am I doomed to dwell in the dark?

No one, not even you can reassure me...

Cos we're no fortune tellers..

We can't see ahead of our time...

Let's just cherish every minute and every hour and bask in the happiness under the light...

With love, hugs and kisses....

Leader

Email...

Subject:Dar
Date: Thu, 5 Jan 2006 01:58:38 +0800

Hi Dar,

I stayed up late to pen my thoughts of our relationship in this email. I just wanted to let you know what's going thru my head....as accurate as i could understand myself.

I'm a difficult person to get along all the while, it's a proven fact. I'll only warm up to strangers, go to the very extreme and extend to leave a good impression of myself in them. However, this kinda of notion fades as time goes by and as I get to know them better.

Most people think and feel that it's because I'm selfish. They think that it's my way of making myself happy by gaining people's acceptance. They thought once that's achieved, I'll feel that there's no longer a need to be nice to these people anymore. I would diminish their importance to me in my life, I will slowly neglect them, cast them aside, avoid them, try to piss them off in hope that they'll flare up and initiate to abort the alliance. I can't say that they are wrong, to a certain extent it's true. I realized that I'm more than what i thought i was to be, I'm more complex than i could understand myself. Sometimes, I'll switch into this self deceptive mode to do things to deceive myself's.

I think that I'm really an extreme fellow. Sometimes i do quarrel with myself, I make things difficult for myself, torture myself, say things that I don't really meant, do things that's not straight from my heart. I'll be hypocrite, scheming and unforgiving.

I know myself, I'm trying to change for the better. I don't know if you can see and feel that I'm trying to change. I don't think you do see or feel that. I knew that I've done many things to make you feel uncomfortable, I've been argumentative and quarrelsome. I've said many things in many occasions that really pissed you off. I knew you have doubts on me, you question yourself about my sincerity and true intentions with regards to our this relationship.

Dar, I admit that I've not treated you good enough as I should have to........I realize that I've failed to pay more attention to your feelings. I've taken things for granted, I've always wanted to get my point across and block out opinions of others. I did that with no deliberate intentions to make you feel sad or harm you...........I really hope that you'll forgive me.
Dar, I ask for your forgiveness.....i don't know if you'll ever forgive me..

Love Dar Dar

Cousin-in-law, Jensen and cousin, Jolene's ROM, 22/12/2005..

Toking to dar on the phone.. Wake up ...

Group shot..

Funny shot..

Bride and me..